pointysticks.net

“Psst! Yeah you kid.” (Looks around, beckons for the mark to come closer.) “Want some Premo?”

No you silly creature. Not that kind of pusher. The kind of pusher I mean is a tool to take the place of a finger or thumb when actual human digits are too large to fit into tiny bits and folds of a sculpture.

I made some from bamboo skewers, Aleen’s tacky glue, Premo, and Future floor wax. Fortunately this wasn’t unknown territory for me, I’ve made lots of things out of bamboo skewers and know from past experience that nothing sticks to them but pva (white) glue. I wouldn’t have used Aleene’s normally, it’s far too precious of a substance to go slapping it on every single project I come up with but Matt threw away my crappy bottle of ten cent pva because it was “crappy.”

Of course it was crappy, that’s the whole reason one buys ten cent glue bottles. For some jobs (like pre-coating bamboo skewers) thin, runny, turns dark yellow and threatens the fabric of society pva is necessary. That’s the way these things work.

So this is my little tutorial should you feel the need to make some for yourself: Cut skewers to size using large power tools. The larger the better. Use a chain saw if you feel like it. I didn’t really feel like getting the chainsaw out (although I could have) so I used the bandsaw. Turn off powertools. Dip fingers in pva, quickly rub pva onto bamboo skewers. Stick skewers into something so that they are not laying flat (in this case, half of a styrofoam ball lucky enough to have been selected for this purpose.) Double stick tape impaled semi-sphere onto cutting mat so that it doesn’t flop over. Wait about 20 minutes. Liberate slightly tacky pva coated altered skewers into toaster oven for 15 minutes at 300 degrees. Wait for ding.

After ding remove crazy hot skewers from toaster oven. Say a few swear words while skewers are cooling. When cool enough to handle, mush clay onto pointy part of skewer. Shape into useful shapes. Wrap a collar of matching clay and secure firmly by screaming at it, blend collar and shape as smoothly as possible.

Brush with Turpenoid and soft paint brush to remove fingerprints. Accidentally knock wax paper cup holding Turpenoid over and scream select profanities. Wave at neighbors who are now staring at you. Put polyfill onto baking dish, prop skewers with clay heads into baking dish, set time and temperature on toaster oven, put baking dish with stuff into toaster oven, start baking. Clean up Turpenoid with mineral oil and baby-wipes. Wait for ding.

After this ding, pull insanely hot bamboo skewers out of oven, dip into Future floor wax, wrap wire around the unclayed end and hang to dry. Wait, wait some more, do a little dance, make a sandwich, play card games with the four year old, stare at the wall when 4 year old takes a nap, fill out financial aid and Stafford loan paper work, call mom and wait a little longer.

I could fashion a covering for the handle part of the tools, but I decided that could wait for another day, I like the look and feel of bamboo and the baked pva makes a pretty solid finish.